Thursday, December 22, 2005

I Need A Distraction

All this debate, all this arguing, all this wailing and gnashing of teeth, I need a distraction. While the Wal-Mart debate was engaging, and the current debate about King George and his continuing disregard for the Constitution of this great nation is indeed a worthy topic for discussion, I just feel the need for something a little more light hearted before I find myself on another furious rant. I need to do something worthwhile and original on my own blog as well as engaging in the war to save the world on everyone else's.

What I need, is a patron babe. That's right, my blog needs a patron babe. Tony has Selma Hayek, and while I agree that she is indeed hot, she just isn't my type. Too hot maybe if that's possible, too perfect. Nope, not for me and I'm already being somewhat of a copycat here anyway. Nope, I need something original. But who?

My dear wife will always be my number one babe but for this particular endeavor I need someone at least mildly famous, someone that others can relate to, someone judged entirely on what they've done in the public eye, and of course someone hot. I've been thinking about it for days and I've made my choice. I started out with a rather short list, I'm not much of a movie fan and I don't follow celebrity gossip at all so I really don't have the names and faces of all that many famous people committed to memory. Sarah Michelle Gellar? Nope, too prissy. Allyson Hannigan? Nope, cute, but too "band campish". (funny I named those two first, I didn't even like Buffy the Vampire Slayer) Kate Winslet perhaps? Hot yes, redhead even, but I don't know, too . . . . . . British, not that that's a bad thing. Angelina Jolie? Hubba Hubba, she is fine, and all that gunplay in Tomb Raider, but no, just not what I'm looking for. Any chick that could sleep with Billy Bob Thornton is eliminated by default.

The panel was narrowed down to two finalists. The first was Keira Knightly. I saw her first in Pirates of the Caribbean. Pretty, but not all that impressive, not to me anyway, once again, too prissy. Then I saw her in King Arthur. Now we're talking! Blue war paint, wrapped in leather, lobbing arrows at nasty Saxon warriors, now that's my kind of chick, even if her boobs were squished.

Chicks with weapons are hot.

Even with all that Keira has to offer, however, there is one that has her beat. For those that may disagree, get your own patron babe then. Sorry, I just happen to have a weakness for Goth chicks. Maybe that's why I thought the war paint and leather were so hot.

And the winner is: Amy Lee of Evanescence. She's pretty, she possesses a wealth of musical talent, she dominates a stage, she dresses in the wildest outfits imaginable yet sensibly enough to leave at least something to the imagination unlike most female singers these days, and I have to admit that I have a lot more respect for musicians than actors. Besides that, I've met her so I know that she's hot in real life even with her ass dragging on the ground from touring, and she's willing to take a minute to sign autographs for her fans without being too much of a ham or acting like it's too much trouble. Besides her simple, girl next door (albeit, bad girl next door, my favorite kind) type of beauty she possesses a dark, mysterious aura that coupled with her stunning voice talents absolutely captivate me. Congratulations Amy, you are now What I Think (as if you give a damn)'s official patron babe. I'm sure you're honored.

Goth chicks are hot. I need a pic of Amy with a weapon. She's big in Japan, maybe a samurai sword. Excuse me, I have to go now . . . . . ;)


The Dixie Drifter said...

Nice post Justin I'll take the chick with the bow. Know what you mean about all of the political bullshit that is why I changed my blog and decided to share some of my favorite music and experiences with everyone, may not be to exciting, but it beats arguing about King George. I am suprised that Wayne has not turned you onto any Newfie music yet, next time you stop by play the one I have posted, On the Shores of Newfoundland by a friend of Mine from St Anthony's...let me know how you like it.

Wulfgar said...

Wise choice indeed.

Table Mountains said...

i see you didn't even consider pamela anderson.saw her handle a weapon in a few movies and a great gal to have around, i figure your probably gonna see tommy lee in the same light as billy bob.

Justin said...

I'll do that Dixie, I like all kinds of music, I just pick and choose certain songs, a little rock, a little country, some folk, classic, modern, if I like it I like it. If it's noise and posesses no talent that I can recognize, I don't like it. I'll give anything a chance, never know, I may wind up being a bigtime Newfie music fan!

Thanks for the agreement wulfgar, I really did meet her, she really is cool, and oh so fine, and damn she can sing.

Wayne, I'm dissapointed in you, just kidding. Pamela Anderson? Can you say "rode hard and put away wet?" No offense but she would be my definition of skanky in all the wrong ways. I really hope I didn't insult you but, ewwwwwwwwwwwwwww. And yes, Tommy Lee ranks right up there with Billy Bob on my icky list. I don't think that Billy Bob is a wife beater though, score: one point for Billy Bob, Tommy Lee zero. ;)

The Dixie Drifter said...

Justin thanks for stopping by, glad you like the music, if you scroll down on the right hand side of my blog there is a link there that has Bob's first CD (Bob Porter)or you can go to this link and it has all of the songs from both CD's

Tony said...

Hey Justin!
Nice patron babe! Works for me!
What about Linda Hamilton in "Terminator" here she one hands that shotgun?
Now thats a woman!
Miss you guys!

ZenPanda said...

I was hoping you would pick Keira- she is awesome. (I haven't heard or seen the winner before)

Justin said...

Howdy Panda, if you click on the link to Evanescence's website there are some videos that you can watch. If you're not much for hard rock check out My Immortal, it's about the best showcase of Amy's talent available. I've seen her do it live, just her and a piano until the very end where the rest of the band jumps in, it's awesome.