Ok, I didn't really kill a kitten, but I did talk to my friend. I did apologize for being a dickhead, he apologized for bringing up something that didn't really matter in the first place, we both chalked the whole thing up to our mutual dissatisfaction with life in general as of late added to the large quantities of alcoholic beverages that we had consumed. We didn't kiss, (while I can't speak for him, I don't swing that way) ;), but we did shake hands and laugh about it.
I am now past my probationary period at my new job and officially full time and eligible for benefits. I'm supposed to be getting a raise. I feel a lot better, mostly due to the fact that I realized that the whole situation isn't nearly as bad as it seemed, and in a large part because I've realized that what I've been feeling isn't so unusual. My pitty party post gathered far more comments than I ever dreamed that it would, as well as some really good advice, but mostly a big fat "liberal group hug" as Tony put it. ;)
And I'm not even a liberal, go figure.
Anyway, my sense of humor has returned to it's pre-argument state. I can now smile again, and until something else trips my trigger I'm going to try to stay this way. I really do appreciate all of the wish me wells, I do appreciate all of the advice, it will be a long time before I feel normal again, but I'm improving every day except for minor setbacks now and then such as last weekend. It was probably wrong of me to vent my frustrations here, but at least now I know that people care.
Most people laugh at the idea that friends can be made over the internet, I know better. As a truck driver I've had numerous friends over the years that I wouldn't know from Adam if I met them downtown, but I can recognize their voices on a CB radio any day. Many of these people I've ended up meeting face to face, gotten together with a few for 4 wheeling trips and such as well. We've shared stories, good and bad, we've talked about our families, good and bad, we've given each other advice when someone is going through hard times, we've supported each other when family members were sick or dieing, we've lent an ear when someone was getting a divorce or having trouble with their kids. If that's not friendship, what is? I now know that by doing this, writing down a little slice of my life and sharing it with the world, that I've made friends all over the country, all over the world perhaps, and even if we never meet face to face, I appreciate the fact that you care. Next time instead of bitching about it on the internet, I'll just kill a kitten.
I'll be OK, but I'd be better if I won the lottery.
Now as far as the Prozac's concerned, could I have some Viagra instead?