Wednesday, January 04, 2006

I Didn't Get To Work Tonight,

so I'm sitting here drinking alcoholic beverages, visiting with family, and watching music videos on the computer. Beer got kind of gross after a while, the chicks wanted something different, so I whipped them all up some Smith and Currens. Ever had a Smith and Currens made with Frangelico? Ever had Frangelico? The best way I can describe it is a Snickers bar in a bottle. That's what it tastes like, really. My wife's cousin Susan introduced me to the stuff and I think I'm in love . . . . . with the booze. . . . . not Susan. Susan's cool but her old man is big, Army, been to "the raq", really cool guy, but you'd have to be a dumb ass to try to steal his babe. I'm happy with the babe I got. I think that Frangelico will inhabit my flask on the next snowmobile trip.

As for the music videos, my brother in law brought down a few disks that he burned. Lots of Rob Zombie and some old school rap, Snoop, Dre, that sort of thing, some Green Day, some ICP. Good stuff to have on in the background when drinking Smith and Currens made with Frangelico, and the old standby, Creme de Cacao. Kahlua works too but we didn't have any. In case you haven't guessed, I'm loaded and I'd like a nice story before I go to sleep. We listened to a lot of Evanescence too, Amy says to say "Hi".

I tried, from the age of about 16 to 25, to drink myself to death. It didn't work. I was so much better at it back then. If I drank half as much in a week now as I typically drank in a night at the age of 18 I would probably succeed in drinking myself to death in pretty short order. Getting old sucks, and I ain't even old yet, but I do leave my turn signal on sometimes, just practicing.

I need inspiration. I need to do something exciting so I'll have something worthwhile to write about. Who wants to go blow something up? Nobody? Didn't think so. I'll be ripping some cars apart and sending them to the great beyond soon, I can write about that I guess. Ever wondered what us redneck junk collectors do with all that crap we drag home? I'll show ya. Need any parts? Chances are I have them, but that's another story.

It's past my bedtime, night all.

6 comments:

5 said...

I think you are nuts....
But in a good way.
Maybe David Summerlin, you and I, we can start our own little "brutally honest army"...
Yeah, thats the ticket. Thanks for the laughter and insight.

David Summerlin said...

I like to blow shit up, but I can't abide calling Snoop and Dre "old school," even though I suppose in the current vernacular you're correct. For this old fart, "old school" is like, Grand Master Flash and Run DMC.

Justin said...

Dave, you forgot the Beastie Boys, that's old school, and one of my favs. I'm not a big rap fan so to me anything that I used to listen to "back in the day" to crib a phrase, is old school. Any rap that came out since about 1994 grates on my senses like fingernails on a chalkboard. Too "new school" I guess, for this old fart anyway. ;)

And Tony, I am nuts, and not always in a good way, but usually. As for the brutally honest army, it's the only army I'll ever join, be all we can be we already be you see? ;)

EAPrez said...

...I HAD to drink alcoholic beverages when visiting with my family!!! Only way I can keep my sanity. That's what the holidays are all about :)

Sara E Anderson said...

Nobody wants to go blow things up? Speak for yourself...

Justin said...

I never said that I didn't want to blow things up, I just didn't figure anybody wanted to go with me. ;)