Monday, June 26, 2006

Let's Try This One More Time

I had a whole post typed up last night, was just about to hit "publish", when my browser hung up and I lost the whole damn thing. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH!

So I'll try again now that I've quit foaming at the mouth.

The other day I was coming home in the big diesel Ford when I noticed a horrible grating racket emanating from the right rear wheel, so Saturday I set out to discover the cause. Jacked it up, took off the wheel hoping for simply a dislodged doohickey somewhere in the brake that could easily be "relodged". Murphy has a law, Murphy hates me, Murphy sucks.

News flash, it's a 3/4 ton, as in full floating axles and inboard brake drums, no easy fix for me hell no, I've got to tear the whole damn hub apart. So I turn my shop upside down only to discover that I do not own one of those nifty little stamped steel 2 9/16" wheel bearing sockets necessary to disassemble the rear hub of a 3/4 ton Ford. Went to the nearest auto parts store, they had one, to the tune of 20 bucks. Nuts, I just doubled my investment in my "free" Ford pickup, oh well. Some time between my procuring of a nifty little stamped steel 2 9/16" wheel bearing socket and actually using said socket however, I somehow managed to get my head stuck in an 18 pack box of Rainier beer. Had to drink my way out, damn near drowned, it wasn't pretty. I didn't get the truck fixed Saturday as you might have guessed.

I have come to the conclusion that drinking is sort of like playing pool, if you want to stay good at it, you have to keep practicing. I took a short hiatus from both a few years back, now I'm a lousy pool player, and my once super human tolerance for alcohol is absolutely and completely gone. Take this as a lesson, if you drink, don't stop if you ever think you may want to start again, it's painful, and it makes you feel really old when a twelve pack of beer will make you hurt for two days, when you used to drink a case and a half and come back for more the next night. Just a bit of wisdom I thought I'd pass on, now back to the truck.

So Sunday morning, with my head pounding like John Henry driving steel on meth, I pulled the hub assembly off to discover that a brake spring had busted allowing the rear shoe to lodge itself sideways on top of half of the other shoe and most of the brake hardware had been riding around in the drum rendering all of it useless and bending the rear shoe all to hell and gone. The brakes looked like brand new too, too bad a 15 cent Taiwan spring had to bust and flub up the whole works. Another $120 later, I have most of the parts in my grubby little fingers, actually they're already on the truck except for the slack adjuster that I had to order. Should have that tomorrow then she'll be back on the road. Now I've just got to tackle those two leaking injectors, and see about getting the air conditioner working, oh yeah and get a new windshield because mine's not only cracked, the glue's all rotten and it's about to fall out on the hood. Is there really a such thing as a "free" truck?

Brakes aren't supposed to try to climb on top of each other like this.

And all these pieces parts aren't supposed to be rattling around in the drum either.

Murphy, go suck an egg, a big one.

So anyway, the big Ford's almost back together, which is a good thing because with it's ample back seat it has been elected as Justin's official airplane hauler. There just isn't enough room in my other truck, and the wife gets all bent when I leave her home alone on the weekends without her car. I'm starting to wish that I hadn't sold all of my vans.

One thing that I haven't been dim enough to sell yet however is my boat. I don't do a lot of fishing, but when I get the urge to go, well I've just got to go. Sort of like when you have to pee, know what I'm talking about? So while I was out in the shop working on the truck I just couldn't help but notice my boat sitting there looking all lonely and rejected, I'll have to fix that problem soon and spend some quality time with her at the lake before she starts thinking that I don't love her anymore. Boats get jealous like that and well, it isn't a pleasant sight.

Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to "The Old Dead Fish". It ain't much, but I bet it was cheaper than your boat. ;)

Smooth seas to ya mateys, I'm off to me bunk. AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRR! ;)


a-fire-fly said...

That, sir is a fine boat. We have two just like it in the back. Well, ones 12' and ones 14'. (And then there's the big boat.)

Justin said...

Yeah, but did you see the quite nearly brand new Mercury on the back? You know you like it. ;)

Oh yeah, that IS my big boat. LOL.

a-fire-fly said...

On the little ones the motor is more of an investment than the boat! You'll do fine-on Lake Elmo! Ha ha, I crack me up! Happy 4th!

geo metro air ride kit said...

I feel you bro. Happens all the time. By the way, great blog you got here. Worth recommending.

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