Sunday, December 31, 2006

Is It Summer Yet?

I hate winter. I hate snow. I hate being cold. I hate getting colds. I hate icy roads. I hate big heat bills. I hate cars that won't start. I hate scraping windows. I hate frozen water pipes. Most of all, I hate it when my niplets get all pokey and rub themselves raw on the inside of my shirt, damn I hate that. There's nothing worse than having sore, bleeding niplets. Yep, I'm ready for spring.

I remember when I used to like snow, back in the days when I didn't have to drive in the shit to earn a living. Maybe after I win the lottery I'll like snow again, just like back when snow meant a good excuse to go sledding. Back when snow meant a good excuse to go do donuts in a parking lot somewhere until the Gestapo showed up and gave everybody the boot. And snow forts, remember those?

I grew up in Eastern Montana where the snow never melts, it just blows around until it wears out. When I was a kid it'd snow a foot or so, then the wind would come up and blow it all up against whatever happened to be in the way. Six foot high drifts sometimes, excellent opportunity to do some serious tunnel building. After I win the lottery, I'm gonna build a snow fort. Then I'm gonna get in my airplane and fly to some island in the fucking Caribbean where it never goddamn snows and stay there until spring. Y'all can have this rotten white shit.

I know, I know, quitcherbellyachin', but it is the first real snow that we've had this winter after all, so I'm still not used to it for the year. By the end of January I won't even notice the crap but right now I'm still lamenting the end of another way too short summer. It's all good though, because before we know it the temp will be hovering around 100 degrees and I'll be bitching that it's too damn hot. Is there anyplace in the world where it stays between 60 and 80 degrees all year, never snows, and there are no bugs? Anyplace? Didn't think so. Better learn to like snow I guess.

So how does everyone like the site's new look? Personally I think it sucks ass but at least it's a change of scenery. I was hoping that Blogger's new template editor would make it easier to customize these blogs, but it turns out that they consider being able to easily change colors "customizing". I already knew how to change the colors, I want photo backgrounds and custom headers and nifty little whizbang doodads that I'm far too uncreative to think up on my own. Maybe since the weather sucks anyway, I should spend a little time researching html code eh? Hell, maybe I should spend a little time thinking up something worth a shit to write since that's what people really come here for anyway, not to see what color the background is today. Sorry, I've just been feeling a little uninspired lately. Don't be surprised if the look changes again however since I'll likely be fooling around with it some more.

Did everyone get everything that they wanted from ol' Santa? I didn't get shit from ol' Santa, but my beloved bride helped me get one step closer to finishing this. The wife and kids loved their stale, half eaten pretzels. We ate loads of my wife's outstanding cooking, and of course my daughter and I observed the time honored Christmas tradition of dancing in the living room and singing along with Boris Karloff's striking original rendition of "You're a Mean One Mr. Grinch", which is my favorite Christmas song of all time. Actually, it's the only Christmas song I can think of that I can even tolerate. May anyone who remakes it be infested with the fleas of a thousand camels for I've yet to hear a remake that doesn't suck. While my head was plunged deeply into the toilet over the course of the past week, my world was thankfully devoid of the rotten Christmas music that I'm sure was belching forth flatulently from practically every speaker in town. I think I'll release a Christmas album next year since I seem to be about the only person on the whole damn planet that's yet to do so.

Wulfgar has the results of the weblog awards posted. I didn't win. I'm not surprised. Actually I'm sort of glad I didn't win. Sarpy Sam and Moos put a lot more effort into this whole endeavor than I do these days, so I really don't think that I deserve to beat them. Maybe the new year will bring an uber creative blogstorm out of the old Justinmeister, then we'll see what happens in next year's contest. I don't want anything that I don't deserve. Sportsmanship - get some.

How do you really define a "Montana Lifestyle" though? When you think about it, anyone that lives here has a "Montana Lifestyle", since the one common thread that most all Montanans share is our love of the freedom to just be ourselves and do what we want within reason. With every passing session of the legislature more and more of that freedom seems to say bye bye, but compared to a lot of other states that I've been to we're still mighty damn free lemme tell ya.

Sarpy Sam made a comment a while back about how he didn't really fit the stereotype of a "Montana Lifestyle" because he doesn't hunt or fish. Hunting and fishing are hobbies, not a lifestyle . . . well maybe they're lifestyles . . . for the exceedingly wealthy or exceptionally lucky, but not for us normal folks.

What makes Sarpy Sam fit the Montana stereotype, in my opinion anyway, isn't the fact that he does or doesn't hunt or fish, it isn't the fact that he's a rancher, it isn't the fact that he's likely forgotten more about horses than I'll ever know, it's the fact that even though he doesn't hunt or fish, he's not trying to tell me that I shouldn't. It's the fact that even though he's a rancher, he doesn't look down his nose at me because I'm not. It's the fact that he knows what the word "respect" means, gives it appropriately and only where it's deserved, and doesn't expect any more or less than his fair share of it in return. He takes care of his own and doesn't worry about everyone else's in other words. That's not to say that he wouldn't lend a helping hand should the need arise, we Montanans are well known for our generosity and I get the idea that Sam fits that stereotype quite well, he just doesn't feel the need to force everyone else to do things his way. If you do, then go back to California where you belong and leave us the hell alone.

When it comes to a Montana lifestyle, how could anyone downplay the story of a woman that moved here from New York to marry the love of her life, and rather than trying to make the rest of us into New Yorkers, hopped right into step with the life of a rancher and farmer? After facing the terrible loss of said love, our hero didn't pack up and head back to the Big Apple either, she's sticking it out and running the show just like a real pioneer and doing what she has to do in spite of her tears.

That's how this country was settled in the first place. A lot of folks came here from back east with everything they owned strapped to the back of a horse or piled into a covered wagon. The ones with the grit to be Montanans survived and prospered, the ones that didn't either starved to death or went home with their tails between their legs. Karen may have came from New York, but from what I can see she's been a Montanan all along. Too bad more of these out of state immigrant types don't have the cajones that she's got. If I wanted to live in New York I'd move there, this is Montana and we like it just the way it is tank you veddy much. If you don't have grit like Karen, then pack up your crap and head back to where you came from, we don't need your kind here telling the rest of us how to live.

Congrats to all of the winners, and thanks again Wulfgar for MCing the whole shebang. I'm sure it takes a lot of time to keep track of all the nominations and votes, and I salute you for doing it.

So what are your resolutions for the New Year? Last year I made the same resolution that I make every year: To not make New Year's resolutions. It's great, I always stick to it, I'm never faced with the guilt that some people feel when they gain 20 pounds after resolving to lose 30, I don't have to face the failure of not being able to quit chewing my finger nails, I'm never disappointed when I don't walk five miles a day like I said I would, I don't drink enough anymore to have to worry about quitting, and I'm smart enough to know that unless I just decide to on my own someday, I'll likely not quit smoking until several minutes after they're finished cremating my cancer ridden carcass. The best way to not have to deal with failure, is to not set oneself up for such I say.

Well folks, it appears that even though the ground is shrouded in that meddlesome white shit, the sun is shining brightly and I'm sure that I'll soon have two of my own, and several of the neighbors', enthusiastic rugrats begging me to tow them around the neighborhood on their sleds with my 4 wheeler. OK, maybe I don't completely hate snow. ;)


Leesa said...

It is a lot more enjoyable when you don't have to work or drive in it :)
The 4wheeler is great fun!

Chuck said...

Hi Justin!

I haven't been over for a while, so I'm just popping in again. The new look is great, imo.

I hate winter too, although we don't seem to be having one this year. It's raining here now.

I hope 2007 is starting good for you & yours. :)

Justin said...

Howdy leesa, when it comes to the 4 wheelers, I actually hate the damn things. I just ride 'em to piss off tree huggers. wink wink ;)

Howdy Chuck, long time no see amigo. I've been meaning to pop over to your place for awhile now and catch up, but I've sort of been guilty of being one of those "head in the sand" people lately when it comes to politics. I tend to get tired of being angry all the time, LOL. I've actually been sort of curious about what's been circulating since the elections however, so I'll have to take the time this weekend.

Wanna talk about weird weather? I generally work the dock in Butte for a few hours a night. Tuesday night - 45 degrees, everyone walking around in their shirt sleeves in the middle of the night thinking it was summer time. Wednesday night - had to chain up to make the mountain, 30 degrees and snowing like a mad bastard, everything turned to ice. Last night - Colder than a witch's tit in a brass bra, still snowing like a mad bastard, everybody wishing it was Tuesday night. Don't like the weather in Montana? Wait five minutes. ;)